"Oh, hello Mr. Johnson, Mrs. Johnson, how do you do?" "We're fine Lynn, thanks." "And you all remember Harry here, right?" "Oh, little Harry, he's grown so, don't you think Jeff?" "Yes, and his hair is starting to grow." "Paul! Paul! Yes, for the last time, you look fine, now come on in!" "Hello, Mrs. Johnson, hello Jeff." "Afternoon." "Jeff, what's wrong with your throat?" "Oh, ehm, nothing, nothing." "Okay, then, let's all sit down and we'll start with the appetizers." "Wonderful idea! Let me just get little Harry here all settled. Come on, Harry! Harry!" "He's grown so, Lynn. You're growing a wonderful child." "Oh, thank you." "Mmmm, I hope you two here baked pie, otherwise I'm leaving." "Paul!" "No, I'm just kidding... Seriously though, if there was no turkey..." Everyone busted into laughter.
"I'm going to go get some spices. I hate my turkey alone." "Oh, Lynn, it's okay, I'll get them." "Oh, no, no, no, I'll get them myself, it's no problem." "I'll be right back." "Jeff! Don't leave!" "I said I'll be right back." "Alright, but hurry back!" "Here we go." "What's this?" "Oh, just some seasoning for the turkey." "Oh, Jeff, you're drowning the turkey in seasoning!" "Beth, you can never have enough seasoning." "Lynn, did you find the spices?" "No... oh, there they are! Jeff, you found them!" "It's okay, I already put them on the turkey." "Lynn, why don't you take the first bite?" "No, no, Beth. Paul?" "No, no, Lynn, please." "I really can't Beth." "No, no, do!" "Here, Paul." "No!" "Why, sure. I don't mind if I do. It's okay Beth. Mmmm. Turkey looks scrumptious. Lynn, is this my favorite spice?" "Sure is." "Well, I don't really... Lynn, how about you have the first slice?" "Yes, yes, have it!" "Umm... No thanks. Paul, really, have the first slice. You don't need to make a big fuss about it." "Okay. Fine." "No, wait!" "Mmm... not bad. Ugh. Are you sure this is my favorite... argh!" "Paul, don't be rude!" "Argh! Ugh! Kahk! This is my favorite spice? It tastes horrible, it... it... Ugh... Blegh..." "Paul? Paul? Speak to me! Paul!" "Jeff, what's going on?" "I... I don't know!" "Klegh... unghhhh..." "Paul! Paul! Somebody, do something!" "Does he have a pulse?" "I don't know..." "Jeff, do CPR!" "Ummm... no, Beth, I don't think that's necessary... umm, mabye he's recovering!" "No! Lynn, really! Oh God, I hate to do this, but... Huhhhh... Sshhh! No, it isn't working!" "Oh God, call the medics!"
"Paul... oh Paul..." "I'm so, so, sorry Lynn. There's nothing we can do." "Ohhhhh Paul!" "Here, let me try a little experiment. Here's a slice of turkey with seasoning, and here's one without seasoning..." "And?" "And, we give it to two mice." "How will this help?" "Sshhh, look!" "Hey, the mouse that ate the turkey alone is doing okay!" "But look at the one that ate the turkey with seasoning!" "It's... it's... stone dead!" "Oh, Jeff, how could you do this?" "What is it Beth?" "You... you... there's poison here on the kitchen table! The one you bought! Oh, you evil man! I knew he was your enemy, but..." "Hold on Beth! I only bought that to kill the mice!" "You only bought it after I invited Lynn and Paul over!" "Beth, you're talking crazy!" "Jeff, you poisoned him! You poisoned Paul! You tried to poison Lynn, too!" "What? Beth, I put the seasoning on only, nothing else! That was the seasoning container! The one we bought with the seasoning in it?" "Jeff, look in the trash! Look!" "Seasoning! How? But, what? I never!" "Jeff, your finger-prints are on the rat poison, the container's top, and the container! 'You can never have enough spices', I see what that was about! Oh, Jeff, you sick, sick man!" "But, I didn't!" "Jeff, you were the only one in the kitchen in the past half hour besides Lynn, who went to the basement after a few seconds of searching!" "She could've!" "Then why are your fingerprints on the poison? And the container?" "I wanted to spread the poison for the mice, but I decided it wouldn't be suitable for our dinner, so I put it back." "Look in the poison box! Empty! Oh, if Lynn hadn't fainted, she'd be murdering you! Jeff, you murderer! I can't believe you! I'm calling the police!" "Wait, what if you did it?" "Jeff, that's ridiculous! Paul was my boyfriend in high school! Why would I do it? Admit you did it!" "No, Beth, because I didn't do it, and I'll prove it. Now put down that knife. Let's question Lynn as soon as she comes to." "Oh, she wouldn't do it! She's pure and wouldn't commit murder. Besides, she's happily married. At least she was... until you came in! I never thought you had such a black heart, such a strong grudge. She loved Paul, unlike you, you... wretched killer! I don't know what's stopping me from raising this knife and dialing 9-1-1!" "Common sense is, Beth. Common sense. I have proof I didn't do it!" "And that proof is?" "Lynn. Lynn there. Let's see what she has to say."
"And where were you before you went to the basement?" "In the kitchen, you know that, Jeff." "Aha. Well, I happened to find the seasoning. Why didn't you?" "Well, I... I didn't see it Jeff, I told you!" "Mmmhhhmmm. And when I came in, it was on the counter, in plain sight." "According to you!" "Yes, according to me. Beth, didn't you see it there too?" "Well, yeah, but that doesn't prove a thing-" "Ah, ah, ah, but yes it does. So, it was in plain sight, and you didn't see it?" "I... um... mistook the container for, uh, something else..." "Sure." "Well, you know I have sight problems!" "Yeah, sure. Didn't I hear Paul boasting that you had 20/20 and Beth had less?" "Yeah, well, ummm... Since she doesn't have 20/20, maybe she didn't see the container. Maybe, maybe she saw something else!" "But you just said it was in plain sight." "Uh, no it wasn't. Maybe she saw..." "The coffee maker!" "Beth, we don't own a coffee maker." "Oh, um, what I meant to say is..." "Okay, this question's turnout seems obvious. So far evidence points to Lynn."
"Okay, Lynn, are you happily married?" "Uhmm, well... y-y-yes, I am..." "And you love your husband? He never beats you?" "N-no, never. I, I, I-I I love him s-so, uhmm, er much..." "I notice you're hesitating. Are you nervous? Lying causes nervousness." "Stop testing me! I'm not nervous and I'm not lying!" "Okay... is that a lie?" "Y-yes, no, err, I mean to say..." "Okay, enough on that question. Who's your husband?" "He's a - Oh no, you're not getting me with that one. He's Paul Christian Davidson Junior, a wealthy man of 42." "I see... Now, what is this?" "Poison." "How do you know this?" "Because I've seen poison." "When you poisoned the turkey?" "No! I've used poison... in the past. Besides, you spread the 'seasoning' all over the turkey!" "Okay. I saw a napkin lying next to the poison box and the seasoning container. Could it be that you used it to wipe-" "She did not wipe off her fingerprints! Um, err, not to say they were there... But, uh..." "Beth, I was just about to say that. And I think she did. Did you?" "No!" "How do I know you're not lying?" "OK, I swear to to tell the whole truth, all the truth, and nothing but the truth. I am happily married, love my husband, my husband never hurts me, I never saw the seasoning, I went straight to the kitchen then the basement, I'm not lying and I didn't use the napkin to wipe fingerprints off the jars. Happy now?" "Not quite. Why did you offer Paul the first slice? Why not take it yourself?" "Oh, for heaven's sakes, I'm not even going to answer that!" "Alright Jeff, so far you've proven nothing. I'm going to have to-" "Hold your horses, Beth Mary Johnson! I want to ask you some tough questions."
"What is the meaning of this? We all know you-" "Shut up! I examined those fingerprints on the poison box and the seasoning container. Some of those fingerprints were yours as well. But that's not all. I read your stupid secret diary. You still love Paul. I read your letters to him too. You plotted this. First, kill Lynn. Then, kill me. The whole 'poison story' will give you a reason for murder: self-defense. Why kill me too? Well, for one, it would get rid of a good CEO in the company, wiping out my company, which is in close competition with Paul's and, of course, in cased I catch on like I did now. You married me just to get close to me, just to plan this evening, you sick, sick person. You never loved me. All the love, all the acts of love were so fake. Beth, your plot was so transparent." "Yes, it was, wasn't it? But now you've foiled my plans and I'll have to murder you both." She sprung at Lynn with a large knife. Jeff hurled a plate at her head. After a loud shatter, Beth clutched her bleeding forehead and thrust her knife into Jeff's shoulder. Collapsing in pain, Jeff gave her a punch that knocked her off her feet. Lynn raised a frying pan and smacked her hard in the face. Grabbing the unconscious Beth by her feet, he signaled for Lynn to grab her hands. They hoisted her into the oven and turned on the gas...
TWO DEAD IN THANKSGIVING DINNER HORROR - D. N. AVID
NOVEMBER 27, 2008 THIS THANKSGIVING BETH MARY JOHNSON AND PAUL CHRISTIAN DAVIDSON WERE KILLED DURING A THANKSGIVING DINNER DISPLAY OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. BETH MARY JOHNSON POISONED THE TURKEY, ACCIDENTALLY KILLING MR. DAVIDSON. AFTER HER HUSBAND, JEFFERY THEODORE JOHNSON, AND DAVIDSON'S WIFE, LYNN KATHLEEN DAVIDSON DISCOVERED, JEFFERY WAS STABBED IN THE SHOULDER WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE, WITH DAVIDSON SUFFERING NO INJURY. AFTER SMASHING A PLATE AGAINST HER HEAD, PUNCHING HER AND ADMINISTERING A BLOW WITH A FRYING PAN, BETH JOHNSON WAS KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS AND BOILED TO DEATH IN THE OVEN. MR. AND MRS. DAVIDSON'S SON OF SIX MONTHS, HARRY ALEXANDER DAVIDSON WAS LEFT SLEEPING AND WAS UNHARMED. MR. JOHNSON WAS RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL. MR. DAVIDSON AND MRS. JOHNSON, WHO SHARED A MURDER PLOT, WERE ANNOUNCED DEAD ON THE SCENE.
HOPE IT'S NOTHING LIKE THIS :-)